It is Saturday, so we have been to the farmers market and we have new goodies. I never know what I am going to make but Saturday’s make it easy, we are drinking whatever the fresh ingredients dictate. Today, we stocked up on purple Cherokee tomatoes to have in bacon sandwiches with fresh sourdough bread and some corn to make elote, which you will see in a drink soon. We also found some wonderful cucumbers for today’s drink. Won’t you join me now as we stand and make Horn of the Bulls.
Anyone else feeling a little lazy today? Maybe a bit tired of it all? Or, perhaps, overstimulated by the unending barrage of noise and trauma from all sides? There seems to be this sense of foreboding hanging over us. A collective state of “What next?” To be fair, there is a lot going on out there today. No matter what your poison, there is something for you. Want natural disasters? We’ve got hellish wildfires, tropical depressions in the gulf, snowstorms out west and if you’d prefer wildlife there is a tiger loose in Knoxville. Political intrigue more your thing? How about voter suppression, interference from foreign powers in our election, nearly five hundred bills still stalled in the Senate, whistleblowers exposing DHS malfeasance, or a president who totally did not say those things he is on tape saying during interviews where he agreed to be recorded. Oh, you prefer social unrest? We’ve got protests over police brutality, wehave got riots that devolve into looting being crashed by extremists looking for an opportunity to use deadly force to defend other peoples property, we’ve got fans booing at the first NFL game because the teams stood together with their arms linked in a moment of silence. That just barely scratches the surface of today’s news and all of this against the backdrop of a global pandemic with over 192,000 deaths in the US and nearly 1,000,000 deaths worldwide. So I’d say we deserve a drink here on the 19th anniversary of 9-11, a day when we are reminded not only of the terrible events, but of the unity that followed them. A unity that seems more like a dream now of a forgotten America than something we actually lived through and experienced. So, yes, I think a drink is in order. Won’t you please join me now as we stand and make, the Donn Day Afternoon.
We use milestones to measure time, that would otherwise slip past unremarkably. This is why we celebrate birthdays and anniversaries and mourn past tragedies when the dates arise. We mark beginnings and endings, like the first day of school and the eventual graduation, and so many little milestones along the day. First steps, lost teeth, learning to ride a bike, these little accomplishments that remind us of just how much has changed while time was marching inexorably onward. It is funny, you don’t realize how quickly things change, if you aren’t keeping up. Today, the death toll from this virus that started me writing again crossed over 191,000. If there is a silver lining, it is that death’s have slowed recently, as case counts have continued to climb. Today also marks 150 cocktails from quarantine. Hard to believe, but I guess we better keep it going, so please, won’t you join me now as we stand and make, the Spicy 50.
I am a sucker for almost anything made with earl grey tea. Like Captain Picard, I’ll have my Earl Grey, hot; or iced or lukewarm for that matter, with a little lemon, please. Earl Grey marshmallows? Yep. Macarons? Absolutely. Chocolate? I said yes already, to all the things. You want to make some macaroni with earl grey tea and throw some cheese in? I’ll try it. So, when I saw this recipe I immediately moved it into the “have to try” file. So, pinkies up, as we stand and make The Grey Fizz.
Orwell said, “Who controls the past, controls the future, who controls the present controls the past.” With that in mind, I would like to remind you that Big Monkey is love and we have always been at war with Eurasia. Here at the Ministry of Truth we work hard everyday to make sure that you know only the best history, fresh off the press. Some of you may recall that we made this drink last week. This is simply not true. Any reference to this occurrence was malquoted. A quick search of the historical record will reveal that you have misremembered the facts. So, please join me now as we stand and make, for the first time ever, the Switchblade.
Remember Schoolhouse Rock? This drink is an absolute melting pot. A couple of things that pair naturally plus a couple that shouldn’t work at all but it comes together to make something unexpected and great; just like in Lady Liberty’s recipe. Won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Artichoke Hold.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a monkey in possession of a fine teacup must be in want of a drink. Pretty sure Jane Austen said something like that in one of her early drafts. Mommy Dearest suggested I use one of these prewar beauties for another chapter in our saga of teacup cocktails and what could a loving son do but oblige her. So please, join me now as we stand and make the Earl Grey MarTeani.
Some days things just come together and it all works out, through no fault of your own. The right ingredients, meet the right glass and with a little inspiration, magic happens. A lot of folks would say that the time you spent learning made it possible, but I know the truth, magic happens. Things work out in spite of anything you may have done. My dad would say “it’s better to be lucky than smart, cause you aren’t always gonna be smart enough, but you can be lucky enough.” He’s right, you just have to learn to not count on the luck, you can hope for it, but when it becomes a central part of your plans, you get to meet Lord Hubris and his partner Lady Karma. So, with a modicum of preparation and a great deal of luck, I ask you to join me now as we stand and make, the Cable Car.
Managing expectations is hard. I don’t know how often I have gotten all excited for something and then been disappointed. How many times I have not even been able to remember why I wanted something in the first place, when I finally got it. You know how it is, you wait months and months for that movie to come out or for the next season of a show and when it arrives, it is definitely not all that. I kind of feel that way about todays drink. When I see it on a menu I often order it, only to be mildly disappointed and remember that it is always the same, but I persevere, thinking that some day I will finally find the perfect one, even if I have to make it myself. So, please, won’t you join me now as we make the classic Aviation.
It’s not always that complicated. Occasionally, these drinks happen without a lot of thought going into them. Well, not a lot of thought on my part, anyway. Sometimes you stay out too late and just want to crank up some good tunes and make a drink for the pure pleasure of it. That’s what we have here tonight, just enough words to get us to the break and a heck of a drink to boot. So join me now as we stand and make the Rusty Switchblade.
