I am not a huge fan of orthodoxy, at least not according to Webster. The idea of “authorized or generally accepted theory, doctrine, or practice” seems alright on paper, but in practice it feels a lot more like stagnation and acceptance for acceptance sake. Still, I had a wonderful drink in my back pocket left unused after the Easter holiday, so why not embrace orthodoxy and celebrate Orthodox Easter a week later, which kind of flies in the face of accepted theory, doctrine or practice. Life can be funny that way, so won’t you join me now as we subversively stand and make the surprisingly unorthodox Follow That Black Rabbit.
It’s gimmicky, I get that. C’mon though. How can you not kind of love a tiki drink in a chocolate bunny? Seriously, who does that? Does it even matter if it is good? On some level all you can do is sort of nod begrudgingly and make the thing, which is what I have done. So won’t you join me now and slip from the sublime to the ridiculous as we stand and make the Easter Island.
The truth is things aren’t always going to go the way you planned. It happens all the time. We, mostly, don’t notice when they go better than expected, but when things go downhill, it can shake your faith. When that happens, all you can do is step back, take inventory and find a way to move on from that new starting point; make the best of the situation and see if, maybe, you can salvage some lemonade from all those lemons. So, in the spirit of doing the best you can with what you have, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Coco No Coco.
Childhood fears are funny things. I am not sure we ever get over them, not completely. I’m a reasonably grown man, closing in on half a century of wanderings and I have faced and overcome many fears in my time. That’s part of growing up. The more we learn, the more we realize that the truly scary things in the world rarely go bump in the night and as a buddy likes to remind me when we are hiking in moonlit woods, “If anything out here really means you harm, you’ll probably never hear it coming.” Still, when those cold winds begin to blow rattling the dry leaves in the trees and the fire dances in the jack o’lanterns eyes, it’s funny how those old haunts can rise from their graves. So won’t you join me now as we listen to the distant clatter of hooves in the distance and we stand and make the Headless Horseman.
They say the devil is in the details. He is also, apparently, on my kitchen counter. If my upbringing is to be believed, which it most assuredly, is not; the devil is everywhere, all the time. It is not always clear what he is doing. Some say he is out running or just around the corner waiting to trip you up, others claim he wants to make a deal for your soul, although this most often happens at a crossroads, allegedly. Details on whether those crossroads are metaphorical, allegorical or physical are decidedly fuzzy, although the Jackson, Mississippi Chamber of Commerce claims to have the answer and a bumper sticker to go with it. I have often heard that he’s fond of wagers and fiddle contests, but I don’t have much musical talent or a hickory stump, so I can’t confirm this for myself. The point is folks have a lot to say about the devil, but little sympathy for him. So, have some courtesy and some taste as we stand and make the devil’s own Dark and Smoky.
It’s funny how regrets stick with you. I have messed up so many times in so many places that I am surprised I can even remember half of them. I am pretty good at owning my mistakes and have no trouble admitting that I have come up short as a friend and as a decent human far too many times. I’m still working on me, being better a little at a time, stepping forward when I can, learning from my mistakes. I don’t figure this makes me special, most folks are trying to be better and the rest, well, they are at least trying to get better at not getting caught, so I guess that’s something. Groups, institutions and even countries are made up of people, so logic would say that those things are trying to get better too, but I am not sure of that. Sadly, as awesome as most individuals are groups of people tend to suck. I am not sure what that says about our collective journey into the future. So, with a nod toward those better angels we keep waiting on, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Imperial Bulldog.
“I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful one-hundred percent!” That’s why he was there, enduring hardship after hardship, while Mayzie jetted off to Palm Beach, leaving him holding the bag. Horton keeps his promise, despite ridicule, being captured and carried away, because he was being 100% faithful to a lazy bird who abandoned him and the future, embodied in an egg. Tell me that is not a story for the kids to learn from. It’s got it all, that Dr. Seuss was a clever fella. So, with a nod toward the past and an eye on the present, won’t you join me now as we stand and make The Mastadon.
One of the dangers of getting old is the tendency to repeat yourself, allegedly. I like to chalk it up to experience. At some point you have done so much that it all just sort of jumbles together and it’s easy too forget that this has all happened before. The upside is, you get to rediscover new things that you forgot you enjoy or hate , depending on your particular point of view. So, with a nod to a little memory remix, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Raspberry Donn Day Afternoon.
“‘Tis an ill wind that blows no good.” he said apropos of nothing. I had barely noticed the onshore breeze, so I looked him up and down, trying to decide whether or not it was gonna be worth the trouble to engage him, before shooting back, “You’re gonna need to unpack that fella.” The old man turned to me slowly, clearly surprised to have someone answer his rambles. I didn’t miss a beat, though. “Seriously, What are you trying to say there?” He did not answer immediately. “Is it some sort of warning? Are you saying that this wind is ill because it brings no good to any of us? And, if so, how can you know that?” I was answered with a blank stare. Unabashed, I followed on “Or are you saying that even an ill wind, which this one may or may not be, brings some good to someone somewhere, a la Henry VI? And, if so shouldn’t you thrown an “indeed” in there somewhere? You know, “‘Tis an ill wind, indeed, that blows no good.” I wasn’t messing with him, I was genuinely curious, that phrase had always bothered me. After a moment, he looked down and under his breath answered, “I passed gas, please pardon me.” Well, what the hell was I suppose to do with that? So, in the spirit of asking the question when you know you should just walk away, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the tiki classic, Tradewinds.
We all say we hate lies, but then we live with them. I’d say that most of the problems we face stem from dishonesty. The kind of stuff that we all know is not true, or not quite true, but we perpetuate it by not calling it out. I am not sure why we do this, maybe we don’t want to cause trouble and rock the boat or maybe it is because we secretly want those lies to be true. Perhaps, Colonel Jessup was right and we can’t handle the truth, so we choose the lie. I do know this. There are some lies so egregious that we must stand up and speak truth to power whenever they are uttered within earshot and that is why I must say, C.S. Lewis lied to us, Turkish Delight is not at all delightful and certainly not worth betraying your family over. With that universal truth acknowledged, won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the White Witch.
