A couple of weeks ago I made a thing of beauty, the Earl Grey, Not, inspired by the great folks at Dux in Barcelona. We have honestly made that drink several times since then. We already had the tea syrup, it was easy and oh so good, plus Laura insisted. This afternoon, she requested another and I decided to play with an ingredient I have had sitting around since the first of the year. Since, I made this one up, based on a drink I made up a name for in the first place, it falls to me to give it a name, which feels like a heavy responsibility. So join me as we stand and make, the never to be classic, Coffee, Tea or Me.

You’d think that with an opportunity to name a drink, I would take it a little more seriously, but then, knowing me, would you really? This drink was inspired by a desire to use my coffee mug and has elements of tea and coffee, it this was the first thing that came to mind, so it just kind of stuck. For those who have lived more purely and/or less long than I have the name comes from the completely made up memoirs of two risqué stewardesses on the late 60’s, written by the same author as many of the Murder, She Wrote mysteries. Crazy world, huh? They were a bit naughty without offending too many sensibilities with most of their charm arising from innuendo and implication rather than actual prurience. Looking back they were super sexist and obviously written by a man, there’s a bunch of stuff I enjoyed from that era that on viewing or reading again is super cringeworthy. 

Speaking of cringeworthy, I lied to you earlier, Coffee Tea or Me, was not the first thing I thought of. My first thought was a scene from Crimes of Passion, a horribly dated erotic thriller from 1984 starring Kathleen Turner and Anthony Perkins. I’ll let you explore this gem on your own (just don’t) but I will direct your attention to the steamy scene where Ms. Turner role plays as a stewardess. She delivers a line so terrible, that it just might be pure gold. It requires knowledge of defunct airlines, so for the young folks down front, Pan-American was referred to as Pan-Am and it’s competitor Trans World Airways was just known as TWA. As she turns away from the camera lifting her dress to reveal embroidered panties she informs her passenger that “Although we may run out of Pan-Am coffee, we will never run out of TWA tea.” Give it a minute. Yeah. That. So, Coffee Tea or Me it is. 

Moving on, let’s make this drink. Grab your tins and pop in 3/4 of an ounce of fresh squeezed lemon juice, 3 1/2 ounces of Earl Grey syrup, 1/2 an ounce of egg white or aquafaba, this is where we depart slightly from the original recipe, instead of 1 3/4 ounces of your usual Irish Whiskey use Jameson Cold Brew Coffee Infused Irish Whiskey. You could infuse your own coffee whiskey here and that would be awesome, but I have been looking for somewhere to use this stuff for a while. Give it a good shake and strain into an awesome coffee mug. Realize that the mug is way too big and pop in a single rock, to make up for the lack of volume in this drink and to keep it cool, yeah that was the plan all along. I garnished with some nothing at all, because this wasn’t really a planned drink, but you may want to grate a little dark chocolate on the top, that would be nice.

This drink just continues to amaze. It is definitely different from the Earl Grey, Not. The coffee adds a depth that is really nice, this one is a bit smoother, in that it is less crisp, the lemon goes under a bit, but in a nice way. I still prefer the original, but this is a nice riff and a good use of that cold brew whiskey, which I really like, but have struggled to use. I think next time I will double it and toss out that ice, I’ll have no problem drinking a lot of this one. Probably whiskey, indeed. Stay safe, stay hydrated and stay sane.