Orwell said, “Who controls the past, controls the future, who controls the present controls the past.” With that in mind, I would like to remind you that Big Monkey is love and we have always been at war with Eurasia. Here at the Ministry of Truth we work hard everyday to make sure that you know only the best history, fresh off the press. Some of you may recall that we made this drink last week. This is simply not true. Any reference to this occurrence was malquoted. A quick search of the historical record will reveal that you have misremembered the facts. So, please join me now as we stand and make, for the first time ever, the Switchblade.

This drink comes to us from Attaboy Nashville’s own Riley Perrin. Attaboy is an awesome speakeasy and I love the place. I know they had a lot of damage from the tornados back in March and with the crazy state of the world today, I honestly don’t know if they have reopened yet or not, but when you get the chance, get in there. They don’t have a set menu, they just chat with you and make something special for each guest based on their preferences, but I bet if you asked nicely they could make this one for you. To be fair, I tried to make it myself last week. I even claimed to have made it, but I swapped some ingredients, so I did not really make this one at all. I was honest about swapping things out, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I should come clean and make this one honestly. So, here we are. Of course, I then went back and doctored the record to make it look like none of this ever happened, so you win some and you lose some. 

Grab your tins and pop in 2 ounces of Blanco Tequila, I opted for Corzo, cause I love the shape of the bottle; 1/2 an ounce of white creme de cacao; 3/4 of an ounce of fresh squeezed lime juice, 1/4 ounce of simple syrup. Add ice and shake hard to the sounds of Nina Simone’s “Sinnerman” in honor of one of the all-time classic switcheroos, till your tins are icy cold. Double strain into a chilled coupe and garnish with a chile arbol and some cayenne pepper. Don’t forget to cut some little slits in the pepper, so you get that spicy bouquet.

Obviously, this one is similar to the Rusty Switchblade riff that I made last week, but with a cleaner flavor. They are both excellent. I prefer this one visually, because of the contrast with the cayenne. Just don’t drop your chile into the drink or some of that cayenne will settle to the bottom, making it less pretty than it was before you callously and carelessly ruined things. Either way, this drink is so very good, you should make it.

You should also check your sources, avoid duck speak and blackwhite acceptance. If you learn nothing else today, remember that people will lie straight to your face and then go back and change the record, so it looks like you were the one who was wrong. This is what gaslighting is all about and you ought not let folks get away with it, except me of course. Remember, Big Monkey is love and he does these terrible things for you and the good of the party. But for others, at the first sign, that they are going to lie to you about things you can easily check and disprove, remember that they lie because they don’t respect you or your intellect and that is not gonna get better with time. 2+2 is never going to equal 5, no matter how much you love Big Brother. There are volumes written about this, so go get your psychological advice from some decent peer-reviewed source and pay no attention to that monkey behind the curtain. He still thinks we are fighting the Eurasians, when everyone knows we have always been at war with Eastasia. So enjoy this drink, it is doubleplusgood and that is no double think. Stay safe, stay hydrated and stay sane, my friends.