“Try this!” they said, with more enthusiasm than I thought the moment called for. I’m open to new things, even when they are riffs on old things, or clearly inspired by things I am already doing, so why the urgency? Perhaps it was a case of striking while the iron was hot or making hay while the sun was shining or cheating another tequila cocktail with odd partner ingredients in while the bottle was still on the counter. I did not know why. I just knew that the vehemence, the commanding tone, was off-putting. Still, it wasn’t like I had anything else planned and it would give the appearance that I was responsive to requests, or was it demands? That makes things tougher because while I always try to honor requests, I rarely acquiesce to demands. I decided to categorize it as an overzealous plea and move it to the top of the list, so won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the Randall Porter.
It’s been a “bit of a day” as Lin Manuel would say. I spent my morning revisiting a time in life several years ago that I would prefer to leave in the rearview mirror. I don’t want to forget, it was definitely a learning experience. It was also a tough time and expensive lesson about trusting your gut and being careful who you put your faith in, despite what the “pro’s” are telling you. Mark Twain was right about good judgement coming from experience which usually comes from bad judgement. Going back over all that brought up the bitterness and resentment I figured was behind me. Still it’s a gorgeous day outside and I’m not gonna let it keep me down. So in the spirit of keeping the bitter stuff out of your life and in your glass, won’t you please join me as we stand and make Eeyore’s Requiem.
After a year of days running into each other, it seems like overkill to have this week of ice and snow. I already barely knew what month we were in and I awoke this morning to a grey, ashen sky over an endless sea of white to discover that it was Wednesday, and not just any Wednesday, but Ash Wednesday, which means I went right on through Mardi Gras without realizing it. To be fair, I should have known, mom had homemade King Cake at dinner Sunday, so I knew it was coming up, it just never really registered that it was upon us. I had planned to make a New Orleans classic, but that did not quite work out, so, won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the Coco Bitter.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.” Do you understand these rights? Probably not. Most of us haven’t made a close study of them. Although the rights protected are enshrined in the Constitution, they were not formalized into the “Miranda Warning” that must be issued when you are taken into custody or interrogated until 1966. Turns out things work better when people are made aware of their rights. Seems like a better focus on civics curriculum and making sure that people actually understand our founding documents and the rights protected by them would be a great place to start. I bet that if more people bothered to read the instructions for our republic, we’d have less call to have to inform them of their rights, but I could be wrong. I often am. So, in the spirit of better understanding the national EULA, won’t you please join me now, as we stand and make the 5th Amendment.
“While we acknowledge your point, that time is just a construct” he began, “we also recognize that this construct has certain tenets and even measurements that have been agreed upon by all who conform to this construct. Seconds begetting minutes, minutes leading to moments and hour and days, weeks, so on and so forth.” It was clear that the headmaster had heard this argument from first years who had not yet discovered their own ignorance and still thought themselves quite clever, not realizing that the staff had trod this way many times before. Clearing his throat, he continued tiredly, “Over what we agree to call “time”, these, admittedly, abstract increments have become so ensconced in our culture that they have taken on the weight of actual concrete existence, to such end we have created mechanisms to measure these purely imaginary periods. My point being, that implements are now readily available to even the most backward of young men that will awaken their bodies if not their spirits at any time prescribed, even those drowsy enough to believe that a philosophical discussion of the concepts of time and space will somehow excuse their habitual tardiness.” With rising passion he intoned, “Well, not in my class, sir! I strongly recommend that you avail yourself of one of these modern horological devices known as an alarm clock and never again arrive in my hall even a moment after the appointed hour!” As he took his seat, he continued quietly and even kindly, “Am I understood?” I just nodded and shuffled to my place in the back of the class, happy that once again, I had escaped actual repercussions with only mild injuries from the public scolding. So, in the spirit of punctuality and never again being late for an important date, won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the Follow the Black Rabbit.
Hiking last weekend I ended up with a bee in my shirt. The boy and I had stirred up a hive and they were buzzing around. My first instinct was to run or swat at them, but they weren’t stinging, just flying all around us. I figured they were curious about the two big bears that had wandered so near to their home. So we made a calm retreat, it was then that I realized I had a stowaway on board. A hitchhiker that had slipped up my sleeve. Once again, my instinct was to swat at it and take the sting, but I decided to try and set a good example for the kid about staying cool under pressure, so I talked him through the process as I helped the little fella get back to the air and we all walked away unscathed, maybe a little wiser. Being cool, calm and collected worked out, this time. So, in honor of our little friend, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Midnight Stinger.
I’m not well and not feeling up to this tonight so it’s bare bones. I’m not getting any points for style, so hopefully the effort counts for something. I’ll appreciate your forbearance if you’ll join me now as we stand and make the Abstract Speed and Sound.
As we enter day three of the 2020 election, patience is running thin with some folks. All day we have watched as races get closer for both candidates. Tempers are rising as the tension of not knowing begins to weigh on us all. I have watched as people, on both sides, have lashed out at others, giving voice to their frustrations. There is a lot of stuff floating around today, including a higher than average dose of misinformation. I don’t blame folks, well, I sort of do, it is pretty easy to look up info and confirm your sources before sharing, but I get it. However this goes, the waiting is hard and it is easy to want to cling to shrinking hopes and share things which confirm your biases. It happens to everyone. Both sides are concerned that there could be something nefarious going on and I understand wanting to approach things with a healthy skepticism. Well, skepticism and Occam’s Razor. Just in case, won’t you join me now as we stand and make some Hanky Panky.
Somewhere in the distance Daveed Diggs asks, “Can we get back to proper drinks?” and I am with him, wholeheartedly. But, I’m tired. The time changed last night and even though it’s only early evening, it feels like midnight. So let’s make something with a little pep to get us through till bedtime. Won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the Morning Dew.
It’s another bartenders handshake. So if you haven’t embraced the bitter, this one is not for you. Hell, it’s got Campari, so it may not be for me, but that is not going to stop us from making it. I’ll probably ramble on a bit about having to take the bitter with the sweet, maybe compare some films, who knows? I certainly don’t. Doesn’t really matter though, this is the drink we are making, these are the words I am writing and while I hope that you enjoy both, it’s really out of my hands at this point. So won’t you join me now as we stand and make The Last Man Standing.