It’s all about change. A lot of folks talk about “survival of the fittest” but what Darwin was really getting at was the ability to change. Those who are most “fit” to adapt are the ones who not only survive but excel and prosper when conditions around them change. Think of the world you were born into. How much our ideas of what is right, fair and equitable have changed. How technology has created a new universe of jobs and opportunities while leaving entire industries and mindsets obsolete in its wake. Time is a river and it keeps moving. The truth is, either we adapt to the place and time we live in or we find ourselves stagnating, losing relevance, contact and context, stuck in a backwater as that river moves on without us. Change can be painful, but it is the key that unlocks our future selves. Won’t you please join me now and pass through the crucible as we stand and make the Bananas Foster Manhattan.
Summer is definitely here. It is stifling outside, when it is not raining, so the humidity is through the roof. This is just the kind of day that Mr. Carrier was thinking about when he decided we needed to get this air into some kind of condition. It seems like it is all rain showers followed by moments of intense sunshine. Pretty sure there is a metaphor in there somewhere, but it is obscured by the steam rising from the pavement. The point is, this is the kind of day when you need some shelter and something to help keep you cool, so why not have both, as we stand and make the Parasol.
In olden times, heroes walked the earth. These pioneers helped map the digital horizon, measuring the bandheight as they defended Pandora’s Letterbox against the forces of the L33t H4x0rz. Though their exploits are well-documented in the early annals of the vodcast, precious few tangible relics remain. Glasses signifying membership in the Royal League of Bunnies are found from time to time, purple and green Charooba mugs are spoken of in hushed whispers and some say they have actually seen RobotBox shooters and the Drinkbot decanter, but those claims are suspect, at best. So, in the spirit of the ones who came before, won’t you join me now as we stand and make Tiki Bar TV’s “Love in the South Pacific”.
Hunter S. Thompson famously said, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” I get it. I am all about the weird in pretty much any variety. I like weird people, weird entertainment and weird flavors. I like doing things other folks think is weird, like being open and honest, but in a kind way. I try to be relatively open-minded and saying yes to life has afforded me the opportunity to experience all kinds of weirdness, I think this is a positive thing, or least it has been mostly positive. So, in the spirit of keeping an open mind and trying new things, even if they seem a bit weird, I finally broke down and bought a bottle of Skrewball Peanut Butter Whiskey. How’d that turn out? Well, let’s go on a voyage of discovery as we stand and make the PB&J Sour.
“Try this!” they said, with more enthusiasm than I thought the moment called for. I’m open to new things, even when they are riffs on old things, or clearly inspired by things I am already doing, so why the urgency? Perhaps it was a case of striking while the iron was hot or making hay while the sun was shining or cheating another tequila cocktail with odd partner ingredients in while the bottle was still on the counter. I did not know why. I just knew that the vehemence, the commanding tone, was off-putting. Still, it wasn’t like I had anything else planned and it would give the appearance that I was responsive to requests, or was it demands? That makes things tougher because while I always try to honor requests, I rarely acquiesce to demands. I decided to categorize it as an overzealous plea and move it to the top of the list, so won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the Randall Porter.
One of the greatest difficulties we face today is a growing gap in cultural literacy. In addition to basic history, which we hope against hope will be covered in the kids curriculum, there are also thousands of fandoms, movies and music that a person needs to have at least a working knowledge of, in order to be a clever productive-ish member of society. Nobody told me that helping to educate the next generation would be so daunting. Just today I found myself explaining concepts I barely understand myself as the lad asked “What is a hollaback girl?” That shit was bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s. So, in the spirit of seeming clever by staying one step ahead of the class, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Bananarac.
“Man plans and god laughs,” the old saying goes. I believe it. I did not have anything terribly important to do today, but I had a lot of little things I was going to try to knock off the old “if you do it, you can quit worrying about it” list. Nobody told me that as you grow older you’d spend more and more time thinking about the things you still need to do. Hard to believe, after I spent so much time working on being carefree. I guess it comes for us all in the end. When the storm woke me up at 5 AM, I figured my day of farmwork was pretty well shot. I knew it was going to be a “good day for ducks” as my grandpa would say. Still, there is something to be said for taking a zero day and letting the work worry about itself. I reckon it will still be there when things dry out. So, in the spirit of taking it as easy as you can, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Rescue Team.
Truth is, I just felt like making a tiki drink. You ever just get that urge? It may not be for a tiki drink, it could be for a Kit-Kat or a smoke or some Persian poetry. Who knows where those impulses come from, where our desires live when they aren’t driving us. It is funny how you can go for weeks or months or years and never once think about quiche or scuba diving or the company of a friend from long ago, but once they cross your mind, they just seem to linger there, an inexplicable, but gnawing hunger to feel those things again. That’s where I find myself this evening, with an uninspired, yet insatiable want for something tiki. I had an unused glass and the ingredients, so I decided to indulge. In the spirit of nearly forgotten appetites, won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the modern tiki classic Lorikeet.
Asimov said, “Education isn’t something you can finish.” In fact, he wrote a great deal on the subject and the ridiculous idea that formal education was a rite of passage and that once you have passed beyond it you should leave reading books, having ideas and asking questions behind with other childish things. When I found myself with a surplus of experimental smoky scotch and banana based tiki drinks, rather than laying them aside, I opted to delve a little deeper into this bit of nearly forgotten lore. So, in that spirit of continuing education, won’t you join me now as we stand and make, The Banana Stand.
Travis McGee said, “Every day, no matter how you fight it, you learn a little more about yourself, and all most of it does is teach humility.” I remember the first time I read those words and thought to myself, “Yeah, right.” I still had the confident ignorance of youth going for me and I had no idea just how much I did not yet know. To be fair, I don’t know all that much now, but at least I am aware of just how much I have yet to learn. As Mark Twain once mused “Good judgment is the result of experience and experience is the result of bad judgement.” Well, I have a ton of experience, which has not necessarily translated into sound judgment. Call it a moral failing but there are some lessons I have not been able to learn, no matter how often life has tried to teach them to me. So in the hope that an old dog can still expand his repertoire of tricks, won’t you please join me as we stand and make the ever elusive, yet remarkably accessible, Bananakin Skywalker.