Inside the Mind of the Monkey

There are more than just bananas in there...

Page 22 of 57

Port Royal

We awoke to a winter, ummm, what’s the opposite of wonderland? Our snow storm turned out to be a glazing of ice, covered with sleet pellets. No chance for a snowman and making ice and slush angels is way less fun than it sounds. So we spent the day mostly indoors. Sure, I’d venture out from time to time to go for a walk around the property or down to the end of the driveway to check out the ice on the roads, look and see if anyone had run off the curve lately, write my name in the sleet, you know the important stuff. Now that the sun has set, I figure it is time for a drink, so in the hopes that something from more temperate climes will warm our hearts, won’t you please join me as we stand and make the Port Royal.

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P.S. I Love You

It is Valentine’s Day, which seems like the perfect opportunity to make a nice sweet drink with some depth and complexity then follow it up with an even sweeter story of incredible depth and levels of complex beauty only dreamt of by mortal man. I could do that. Sondheim would have us believe the “opportunity is not a lengthy visitor” that can be missed before you even realize it has arrived. Of course, he would take at least an hour and a half before revealing that wisdom just after intermission. So, in the spirit of cutting to the chase and not beating around the bush, won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the P.S. I Love You.

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Chartreuse Toddy

It is cold enough out there today for this child of more temperate climes. They are calling for a proper ice and snow storm tonight or tomorrow or the next day or some other indeterminate time in the future. The important thing to remember is that during the challenging times to come, no matter what, you must not be caught without ample supplies of milk and bread. To avoid this fate we ventured out today for supplies. It was 26° with freezing fog and since we were already cold, we decided to hike a couple of miles in a local park and climb the highest hill we could find. Needless to say, we need something to warm us up this evening, so, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Chartreuse Toddy.

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5th Amendment

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.” Do you understand these rights? Probably not. Most of us haven’t made a close study of them. Although the rights protected are enshrined in the Constitution, they were not formalized into the “Miranda Warning” that must be issued when you are taken into custody or interrogated until 1966. Turns out things work better when people are made aware of their rights. Seems like a better focus on civics curriculum and making sure that people actually understand our founding documents and the rights protected by them would be a great place to start. I bet that if more people bothered to read the instructions for our republic, we’d have less call to have to inform them of their rights, but I could be wrong. I often am. So, in the spirit of better understanding the national EULA, won’t you please join me now, as we stand and make the 5th Amendment.

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Amaretto Fizz

Cocktails don’t have to be complicated. They often are and I dearly love something with lots of ingredients and techniques, but there is a lot to be said for simplicity. Simple drinks are often even more challenging to build correctly than the complicated ones. When you have lots of ingredients, some of the details may get lost, but when you only have three components, a heavy hand with one of them or poor quality in another will reveal itself immediately. I was looking for something light and easy on the palate this evening, so I took a nod to one of my wife’s favorite spirits to make a riff on one of the early cocktails. Won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the Amaretto Fizz.

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Salame de Chocolate

First things first, there is no meat in Salame de Chocolate. That’s one of those play on words things where it looks like something it is not. This one looks like a salami, but tastes like chocolate, port wine and heaven. My wife and I discovered this amazing little treat a few years ago in Portugal. I think we first had it as dessert on a TAP flight, but I may be mistaken. We fell in love with “chocolate salami” in all of its variations, but it can be hard to find stateside. As the holidays approached I thought it might be nice to surprise the wife with a little reminder of our pre-pandemic life and travel. I looked into having friends send some over, but then I stumbled across the recipe and decided to try my hand at making this Portuguese delicacy. It looked fairly simple, a straightforward no-bake recipe with easy to get ingredients. Armed with this knowledge I enlisted my son to help and one day before Christmas, we hit the test kitchen at the office to see if we could get something close to the original and it turned out pretty well. So, join us now as we introduce you to the culinary delights of the Salame de Chocolate.

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La Vida Nola

I am feeling a bit contrarian and stubborn this evening. I don’t know why, it just happens sometimes. They are calling for an ice storm later, but it’s been warm all day, so I want a treat. I figure I deserve it. I mean I got through the day. I didn’t have a treat yesterday or the day before. Honestly, I am not sure if I have been good enough to deserve a treat, but I am having one anyway. So in the spirt of delayed pleasure and finally getting something sweet, won’t you please join me now as we stand and make La Vida Nola.

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The Godfather

One could argue that it is a historic day, as the second impeachment trial of the former president begins in the Capitol. You’d be right, of course. While that is certainly interesting, I don’t much care. I mean, I care more than many of the Senators present do, but not enough to dig into it, when there is something much more serious happening today. This is National Pizza Day. Admittedly, I do not hold with these manufactured holidays, possibly because I have been involved in helping to craft a few of them on the state and local level and I know their value. However, pizza. Yes, that is the crux of my entire defense. A defense at least as valid and stated far more succinctly than any other I have heard today. So, in the spirit of symbolic gestures full of sound and fury ultimately meaning nothing, well, nothing more than a full tummy, I invite you, honored members of the audience to join me now as we stand and make, The Godfather.

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Wildest Redhead

Last night, I got a video call from a dear friend who I had not spoken with in far too long. We caught up on the events of this crazily uneventful year. We marveled at how the kids and grandkids, in her case, have grown. We laughed about past adventures around the world, and began to plan, tentatively and optimistically, for the trips to come. It was a really nice surprise and made the whole family happy to get to see each other and chat and feel kinda normal for a little while. So, in the spirit of those old friends who keep you sane, won’t you join me as we stand and make, the Wildest Redhead.

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The Chanticleer

Today is generally set aside in our culture to hang out with friends eating finger foods and sort of casually watching a game that most of us don’t really care who wins one way or the other. That’s just the way it is, no team in the league has a majority share of the fans. Of course, this year, most of us aren’t watching the game with friends, at least not in person, we’ve still got the finger foods though and we will, almost certainly, have a thirst. So, won’t you please join me as we stand and make the Chanticleer.

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